Several children have told me that their moms have eyes in the back of their heads. Although I have witnessed women’s uncanny ability to know exactly what is going on, and who the guilty party is, I have not found any evidence of actual eyes. (and I frequently sit on the couch behind women). However, it is indisputable that women, actually make that all females, raise their eyebrows.
Now I know all of you men reading this are raising your eyebrows right now, just to prove that I am mistaken. Of course you can raise them, but you just did it consciously and here was an element of fun. Women, on the other hand, raise them unconsciously and I can assure you there is no humour involved. Words are not necessary either. These are some of the questions being asked;
- You are not actually going to do that?
- Did you just say that to me?
- Do you really think you are going to win this argument?
- Do you know you are digging your hole deeper?
- Do you honestly think I believe you?
- Do you know that this attitude is detrimental to your health?
Naturally, there are variations to these questions, but let me warn you, they are rhetorical questions. She does not expect, or want, an answer. Now, I did mention that this is not dependent on age. I believe girls start as soon as they can walk, although it takes a while to connect the questions. The real flexing of the brow muscle kicks in when they hit 11 or 12 and gets stronger as the years go by. I speak from experience.
Sharon’s family is predominantly female. 11 females and 2 males, which means I have the full spectrum. Nana is the oldest at 81, and the youngest is under a year old, plus our granddaughter has just turned 12, which is a bonus.
Women tend not to use their eyebrows on each other. The exception is until the 12-year olds learn to tow the line and recently I had the enormous pleasure of watching this interchange. Riley had obviously practiced a little too much, so her exasperated mother warned her not to raise her eyebrows. The warning was verbal but, naturally, it was automatic for Taryn’s eyebrows to rise. Sharon came to Riley’s rescue and pointed out that telling her not to do something at the same time as doing it herself was not on…and, the irony, Sharon’s eyebrows raised at the same time! Thank goodness Nana wasn’t here!
Gents, this is really written for you. It is possible that you are well aware of this phenomenon, but is it equally possible that you are constantly in trouble and have no idea why. In that case I can only offer words of advice. When a woman raises her eyebrows, keep your mouth shut.
‘Til next week